Thursday, September 29, 2011

Calling from the heart

Landed on Heathrow Airport feeling nervous and uncertain, F and M were among the cream of the crops being sent to Oxbridge programme back in 1984. They were lucky for being selected as the foster children of one of the officers at the Malaysian Student Department. The dedicated and compassionate officer (Ustaz) and his wife would visit them and bring home cooked food to their place and every now and then would see to their needs until the Ustaz left London for good.

Once, F came back to his home country for holiday and he took a great effort to visit the Ustaz.

Time passed..... and passed ..... and passed.... F has become a respectable surgeon..... Time passed.... and passed...... and passed...... Once in a while the Ustaz's wife will talk about their foster children ... wondering what have they become .......

Once peaceful morning after suffering from multiple illnesses for quite a while, the Ustaz passed away...... Time passed .... and passed........ and passed.....

Then one day, the surgeon suddenly reminisced the moments when he was in the foreign land and the kindness which had been extended by the Ustaz. His heart longing to find the officer. The surgeon's wife emphatized with the husband's inner desire posted an announcement on her facebook wall searching for the Ustaz or his family. To her amazement, the response she received was very quick and she got to talk to the Ustaz's daughter instantly. Sadness tone could be felt on the other end of the receiver when the surgeon learnt about the demise of the officer. The surgeon then called the Ustaz's wife and made arrangement to pay her a visit.......

Alhamdulillah .... at last my mom gets to meet him, his once upon a time a foster child whom she would talk about every now and then. May Allah reward my parents' kindness with Jannah.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Self check

Improving ourselves from time to time must be top priority.

  • We must be better persons today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better boys/girls today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better men / women today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better son/daughter today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better husbands/wives today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better fathers/mothers today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better workers today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better doctors/nurses today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better managers today as compared to yesterday
  • We must be better teachers today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better students today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better leaders today as compared to yesterday.
  • We must be better directors today as compared to yesterday.

We must be better! We must be improving without stopping .......
Do self-check!
  • Have we done enough for ourselves?
  • Have we done enough for our stake holders?
  • Have we done enough for our children?
  • Have we done enough for our parents?
  • Have we done enough for our country?

Narrow it down and do another detailed self-check!
  • What have I done to improve myself?
  • Is my return this time just as good/bad as last year?
  • What skills have I improved this time?
  • Have my attitude changed to become better individual?
  • Have I taken all the advices given to me seriously?
  • Have I planned and implemented the strategies to improve my behaviour, thinking, personality, effort and attitude?
  • What have I done to please my parents?
  • Have I done enough?
  • What shouldn't I do next time?
  • What should I do next time?
  • Have I listed them down?
  • Have I prepared check list?
  • Have I taken my parents' advice seriously?
  • Have I applied my parents' advice in my day to day living?
  • Have I set/regard my parents' command as first priority?
  • What else can I improve?
Improving ourselves is a never ending task. Just be thankful that we have parents, family and friends who are able to do some check and balance towards or thoughts and actions.

The gift of life

43! Some people say age is just a number. Yup, but humans give meaning to this number. 43 means a lot to me this year to mark the number of years Allah has lent me the life to live with my loved ones. I don't wish to live for a very long time but I wish to live a healthy and quality life with the people I love around me.

Allah has been very generous to me indeed.... The biggest present I have all these years are my family members ... my other half, my children, my parents, my grandparents and my siblings. They made my life complete, Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah for the blessings, happiness and health....... Happy 43rd birthday!

Trailing the memory lane

Being able to meet junior high school and high school friends after some 20 odd years (almost 30 years) was really a blessing. I am grateful to my spouse for his understanding in letting me go with Liza, my junior high school long lost friend. I could not really recognize some of the boys or I would rather call men (since we are all in our 40+....hehe... how time flies). We were in our early teens when we were classmates, schoolmates and dorm mates. I can imagine how ugly, chubby, childish and untidy must I have been back then.

Alhamdulillah, we survived boarding school. Being away from parents at the tender age of 13. What did we do together? Attend school, do laundry, make up beds, clean dormitory, play games and sports, watch movie, pray together, help teacher, study at night, .... the list could go on and on.... Those were the days....

Now that we have settled down with family and children.....we lead our own lives and take our own path and career. I must thank Ahmad Hazari Ismail (AHI), my classmate from form 1-5) and NorMuriani (who had helped me and took a great effort to find facial cream for my acne problem back in 1983) for their effort in reuniting us. Without their commitment and hardwork I don't think the event would be a success. Thank you to Liza too for being my co-pilot and for keeping me company along the way. Alhamdulillah, I really hope there would be some other time we would meet again.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

The Tone

A mother's heart is in grief....

Any child must know that
  • It is okay for parents to talk in firm tone but a child must never!
  • It is okay for parents to speak in a loud tone but a child must never!
  • It is okay for parents to talk in a harsh tone but a child must never!
A child MUST NOT give any excuse to allow them to talk in a LOUD tone to their parents by saying "You started with that tone first!".

Why do parents talk in loud tone?
There must be reasons ...
  • to emphasize the importance of the commands given
  • to warn or teach a lesson after several reminders have been extended
  • to ensure that the advice offered registered into their mind
  • to prevent them from getting annoyed by the child's anticipated behaviour.
Bear in mind what ever the tone used by parents when they speak must be for reasons.... they are used to the child's behaviour and they know by heart how the child will react ...

A child MUST NOT use a loud or harsh tone when talking to parents!! NEVER, NEVER!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Nearing 43

Will I be able to make to 43? Only Allah knows. I'll change the title of this blog to Hana@43 soon! Looking back..... I feel so grateful to Allah the All Mighty for blessing me with the life I've been living. I wouldn't ask for more although I do believe that I could have accomplished more.....

I am blessed with knowledgeable and respectable father, Allahyarham Ustaz Hj Hussain b Unang. I am blessed with beautiful and kind mother, Hajjah Ramlah bt Hj Suri. I am blessed for still having my dear grandmother around, Hajjah Sulimah bt Marjungi. I am blessed with accomplished siblings, Dr Hjh Nurulhuda Hussain, Dr Hjh Nurulwafa Hussain and Hj Muhammad Zaid Hussain.

I am blessed having the pillar of my strength: My family. I am blessed with a handsome and generous husband, Hj Abd Hakim bin Husin. I am blessed with 5 intelligent and lovely children, Nuha Muneerah bt Abd Hakim, Izzah Farihah bt Abd Hakim, Muhammad Afnan b Abd Hakim, Muhammad 'Ammar b Abd Hakim and Muhammad Aiman b Abd Hakim. I am blessed for having 8 cats roaming around the house whose characters are able to make me chuckle.

I am blessed for the education and the qualification I received. I am blessed for having a career which I am passionate about although I have become a victim of several opportunist people throughout my career.

I am blessed for still able to breathe and enjoy the health, wealth and happiness that bestowed upon me although the Dr had once told me that I might not even live to see my kids grow up. O course the list doesn't stop here ....

Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

21 years

Alhamdulillah, how time flies.... it has been 21 years .... been through ups and downs ... turbulence of emotions.....joyful, happy and sweet moments .... sad, painful and bitter times .... frustrations .... disappointments ....... satisfactions ... achievements .... you name it ... I've gone through them all and I thank Allah for bestowing me happiness all this while. I pray to Allah that happiness will continue to be mine. Days and nights I pray that Allah will strengthen the bond and intensify my feelings and vice versa till my last breath.

May Allah bless me and my family. Thank you Allah.

Friday, July 15, 2011


We are what we think we are. If we have set it up in our mind and do nothing to change we cannot say we have tried and failed. If we set it in mind that we are just good for nothing bloke, then we are just that, period!

Never and never tell yourself that you are born to fail and make people upset and that is the only thing you are good at.

All the things I say and the actions I do, they are all calculated.... after I have given much thought.... They are all for the best for everyone concerned even if I have to be the sacrifice and even if I have to be the punch bag. I pray that Allah will safeguard and forgive me and all the people I love.

Monday, June 13, 2011


It has never been easy being a mother. From the first day you conceive a baby.... the morning sickness that you need to bear throughout the pregnancy... the loss of appetite, the pain, the nausea, the headache, the vomiting, the instability of emotion, you name it....

Then you go to the delivery stage - only Allah knows how painful it was when the baby's head passed through the cervix ... the healing process and the confinement that a mother needs to go through doesn't last until at least a month ... well, the list could go on and on ... the weight gain, the shape loss, the sagged boobs, the sleepless nights,.......etc etc....

As children are growing up, mothers curb their thinking, behaviour and action according to their beliefs and customs. You make sure they know how to differentiate right from wrong, good from bad and halal from haram. You tell them repeatedly what they should do and what they should not do. You constantly remind them to be good to themselves and to others. You keep on instilling values and taught them to be respectful towards other people. You thought you have taught them enough. You thought they will be be obedient children. You thought they will remember and listen well .... As mother, you would always choose to see the positive things in your children. As mother, you would always think that your children will not let you down.

However, challenges become intense as the children get older, especially when they are defiance towards the regulations set by you. You suddenly refuse to admit that you have lost the child you have loved and nurtured. It makes you wonder... where did you go wrong? Have you taught her right from wrong, good from bad and halal from haram? Have you taught her to pray and recite the holy Quran? Have you hugged and kissed her? Have you brought her for holiday abroad? Have you bought her most of the things she needed? Have you told her that you love her? Have you reminded her of her duties? Have you.... have you .... have you.... YES! What else does she want? Freedom? How free could she be? Only Allah has the answer.

Prayers will go to all the children... None will be left out. May Allah forgive all the children and may Allah make it less intense for this mother to deal with the rest of the children. Motherhood is not easy, has never been easy, and will never be easy. May Allah give wisdom, guidance, blessings and strong intuition to all mothers....

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Living my dreams

I've always dreamt of traveling to places which I haven't been too....
20 years ago, I dreamt of going to NZ. The dream is far from my reach ... Then I dreamt of going to remains a dream. I've also longed to visit Taj Mahal to witness Shah Jahan's eternal love towards Mumtaz Mahal.....If you ask me ...the answer is not yet!.

I had chances to visit Vietnam and Bandung with my ex colleagues before...BUT... the former I didn't have the green light to go and the latter I got to know it too late.
Another place I wish I could go to is Korea....looking at my friends pictures on facebook, I felt the excitement.... I thanked them for sharing the pictures... at least I could see how the place is like.

Besides, I was also hoping I could visit Salwa in Rome, Shal in Joburg then and in Stockholm now, Nisa in NY.... will I get the chance before Salwa comes back for good? I've been wanting to go back to Stockton, Turlock and Azusa as well as London to trail the memories I've left behind..... I've logged on to AirAsiaX many times...browsing, surveying and calculating fares for 6/7 pax... but in the end I had to jump to other websites or social network to redirect my frustrations.... Well I'm very well aware those dreams are beyond me at this point of time...

Then, I logged on to AirAsia... looking for suitable dates and cheapest fair to travel locally... I haven't been to Tioman Island, not even Pangkor Island.... Redang, Perhentian.... I would log off when I could not decide on the dates and when the fare is beyond me......

Well, staying positive, I concluded that I have lived my dreams... I've performed Hajj, I performed umrah 4 times, I've been to
  1. the Great Wall of China in Beijing,
  2. Tokoname and Nagoya in Japan,
  3. Tehran and Isfahan in Iran.....
  4. I've traveled to Makati and Manila in Philipines,
  5. Phuket in Thailand
  6. Medan in Indonesia.
  7. I've lived in Singapore for about 3 years,
  8. I've lived and studied in California, USA for 3 and a half years
  9. I've lived in London, England for several months when my dad worked there way back in 1982 - 1985

I should be thankful and grateful... Life is short after all.... just be thankful... Thank you Allah...Alhamdulillah...

Monday, February 28, 2011

A long pause

Wow, I didn't realise the last time I wrote in this blog was months ago.... I've been busy with lots of things... Izzah's accident and Myvi got crashed. Busy with the mission to bring Nuha home, then to send her back, then busy getting my proposal done (it's worth it though because Dr Tee commented positively) ... busy with practicum and moderating KPLI classes.. phew... the list could go on...

Will try to find time to write later......

Sunday, January 9, 2011

My tribute to Hj Omar b Mamat

I didn't know that this jovial man is an accomplished writer. I didn't know that he has written numerous novels and short stories. I didn't know that my children studied his short stories in school (Antologi Cerpen Anak Bumi Tercinta). I didn't know that he started his career a year before I was born.

There are so many things I didn't know about him. I took his presence as a colleague for granted. I learnt about his colourful life on his retirement day! I felt so pathetic towards myself but at the same time feeling lucky after reading his profile. I felt so pathetic for my ignorance and I felt lucky because I have worked under the same roof as this noble man (for only a year). However, I still blame myself for not being smart enough to learn about him.

I regret that many took him for granted, especially the big bosses in the college. He was not given the due respect, appreciation and recognition. I'm writing this with a heavy sigh..... People could be so mean and selfish. I guess, that is life... we can't have all, I supposed. Just be grateful and forgiving? Only when we see it fits!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Just say NO

Some people have problem in saying No. Some others will not take No for an answer. Many people would wish to have been said Yes all the time to their requests..but in reality, we need to be meticulous before we give a positive answer or otherwise we will be bounded to the promise we have made for life! I have said NO many times in my life. Nevertheless, I've said YES twice or trice as much as I said NO in my life. Well of course on different situations, occasions and people.

When I was a teenager, I built a very thick and sturdy invisible wall around myself. No man could ever penetrate the wall. Not even the one who said he was not a quitter. Many came approaching in different ways. Some had almost made the invisible wall melted but I stood by my principle. Study came first. I set my priorities and obediently stood by them. I made sure I get my degree first before I made any commitments. I only sought for Allah's and parents' consent. So my invisible wall disappeared when my parents asked me to accept someone's proposal. Although I was pretty much unsure myself but one thing that I was absolutely sure was I had my parents' consent if I were to say YES. Still, I made sure the scroll is mine before I settled down.

So the guys out there who wish to knock my daughter's heart, please make sure you don't burden her with your charm for she has been advised to say NO until she is doing her houseman year. I assure you that you will not be able to penetrate her wall until her parents say YES. Beware and be aware that her answer remains NO until then.

Allah bless you my son

Alhamdulillah.. grateful to Allah for blessing me with Afnan, my first son. His achievement in PMR really made me and my husband proud and thankful. I always have faith in him because he has been obedient and hardworking although he likes to nag which is very unlikely for a boy at his age.

I have never regretted conceiving and delivering him to this world. I had the chance to breastfeed him for only 6 months due to my hyperthyrodism and I needed to take medication. The Dr. did not allow me to breastfeed him since the medicine can affect his intelligence. Alhamdulillah, I am really glad and thankful that I followed the Dr's advice.

This year Afnan will enroll in the Military School or better known as RMC (Royal Military College). I had the opportunity to be around when he took his fitness test at the College in Sg Besi. He managed to complete the 2.4km run in 13:30 minutes. Still, he needs to do his trainings every evening to upgrade his stamina to prepare him for the physical activities in the College later. I pray that he will be able to survive in RMC and continue to succeed in his SPM so that his dream to become a doctor will materialise. I will surely miss him when he is away from home, but I know all of us need to be strong and firm to ensure his success in the future. May Allah bless you, my son.