Saturday, April 17, 2010

Signs

Generally I do believe there are signs for everything. For instance, if you are sleepy you will be yawning. The act of yawning is a sign of being sleepy... the act of yawning could also be a sign of tiredness, resulting the body to signal the brain to stimulate the act of yawning.. does it make sense?

Let us explore deeper the signs of laziness. What are the characteristics in a person who is lazy? Likes to procrastinate; takes a long time to complete simple tasks; refuse to help others; messy; smelly; untidy etc.

What about signs of respect? When you respect a person, you look at her when she is talking. You will be polite towards her. You will try to make sure that she is comfortable. You will not make things harder for her. You will take her ideas and voice out your disagreement in a very subtle manner.

Recently a colleague asked - How do you tell if a person loves you? and how do you tell whether you love a person? What would the sign be? What would a person do if he loves you? Wouldn't he show that he cares about you? Wouldn't he make sure that you are safe and comfortable? Wouldn't he accept you without any conditions? Wouldn't he do anything to please you? Wouldn't he do all the things you like? Wouldn't he hug and kiss you (if you are married to him of course)? Wouldn't he take your hands and wrap his arm around your shoulders passionately? Would a person who love you scold you or nudge you when you try to peck his cheeks? Wouldn't he be there for you during your happy and hard times? Wouldn't he show that he enjoys your presence?

"What do all the signs listed tell you if they are otherwise?", she asked. Well, I told her, these are not the only signs of love. "What else then?", she said eagerly. I asked her the following questions:
Did he provide all the necessity for the household?
Did he care for your well being?
Did he give you all the support you need?
Did he buy you the things you like?
Did he ever tell you that he loves you?
She answered yes! Wouldn't that be enough?
If the answers are Yes then that would be considered the signs... "Signs of what? Responsibility! That is not the signs of love!" she emphasized. "Did he make your life miserable?" I asked her again and No was her answer.
She kept on telling me that she is still unsure of his feelings towards her since he has never shown any passion towards her. "He has never told me he misses me when he is away! What is that signaling you?" she protested. She feels that her presence is only for convenience and she always feels not appreciated... well, I wonder how to soothe her... only Allah has the answer... I guess .. since I was not able to convince her, I told her just to be grateful because it could have been worse. Just be grateful, and grateful and grateful. As long as he is good to you, be good to him. Just look at the good and positive signs and ignore the negatives. After all happiness comes from within. We should be able to choose what we want to look for and focus on. We should choose to look at all the good signs.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Blaming PMS?

Women would always make PMS as their excuses when emotional turbulence strikes. Is it due to hormonal changes that I am experiencing making me prone to this melancholic feelings? There is a strong base for the blame of course.

Most of the times, I was not touched by the remark or gestures made .... but when the turbulence sways it my way .... the same remark and gestures become a BIG DEAL. I am used to be told off and won't be poignant ... hmmm.... age is catching up I guess... As I grow older I become more sensitive towards the way people talk to me.

I am very good of hiding how I felt inside me... since most of the time I would just ignore the feeling and let it disappear.... Yes, I used to do that and I am still doing it ... for entertaining the feelings will make me a weak individual. I cannot be weak for the sake of my children. They are still growing up ... and they need my love, care and support.

However, I have to admit that I need to be recharged physically, emotionally and spiritually. Most of the times I do self-recharging ... but at times I need others to help me recharge.

I strongly believe that happiness comes from within. Stay positive! I should not depend on others to make me happy. I am very well aware that I have to take charge and be in control of my emotion. I am bottling it all inside and I am going to throw it away in the sea. I won't falter... No! I definitely won't.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Changes

Changes happen in a lot of ways through the many stages in our lives. From being single to being married and then becoming a mother. From being a student to becoming a teacher and then a lecturer. Yup, when changes happen we always hope that the changes are for the better. The changes should improve the quality of our lives.

When my daughter told me that she wants to make changes in the way she covers he hair, I said, Alhamdulillah, prayers to Allah... I am really grateful ya Allah.. My first daughter has decided to make changes in her life to improve herself, to become a better muslimah. I am really proud of her... May Allah give her strength and steadfast in the changes made. I am glad that my husband shares the same thought with me and we support Nuha's decision.

I will never stop saying Alhamdulillah for I am really grateful with the blessings I received from Allah.. Alhamdulillah..