Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Staying Positive

Last week I learnt that I wouldn't be able to teach English language anymore.

My feelings?
I was down.. really down. What do you expect? That's my bread and butter. I've been teaching the language for 20 years and suddenly I was denied from teaching it.

My reactions?
Well I talked to my colleagues (from my unit, from ELD and from IPBA) to voice out my worries. Then at home I talked to my other half. The next day I talked to the Head of the English language Department (she was the one who talked to me first actually). Then I talked to my immediate boss at my unit.

The advices / comments I received?
Every one else including my other half advised me to stay at my unit. Only the head of ELD insisted that I should appeal to the director so that I could transfer to her department. But after giving much thought and analysing the way she defended herself in front of the Deputy Director, I knew if I were blamed for appealing, she would not come to my defense. On the other hand, one thing for sure, my immediate boss will find all means to make me stay in his unit and he will definitely come to my defense. My immediate boss warned me against appealing to the Director or I will be victimized by the system.

My decision?
I am staying in my unit and am trying to be positive and stay positive. I know that I should explore and learn something new so that my life won't be mundane and boring. I am ready to take up the challenge. Why not?

I am really thankful that my other half is always there to support me. Love you dear.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Maher Zain - Insyaallah

Love this song so much.

Insya Allah-Maher Zain

Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That you're so alone
All you see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can`t see which way to go
Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can`t repent
And that its way too late
You`re so confused,wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don`t despair and never lose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah you`ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He`s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray
OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don`t let me go astray
You`re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way 2x
Insya Allah3x
Insya Allah we`ll find the way

Saturday, July 3, 2010


There are so many things in our lives that we are not sure of. I am making generalization here without any supporting facts ... well common sense I guess. I'll just confine my thinking and this common sense to myself then. Sometimes I just couldn't help myself from thinking ... the answers to all the ifs that linger in my head.

If only....
Only if...
What if...

would the scenario be the same ...
would my life be different...
would I experience the same thing.. or different thing...
would be worse...
would it be better...
would I feel complete....
would I feel inadequate....
would I be happy ... or happier ...
would I be depressed....
would I be the same ... or different....
would I look the same ... or different ...

The unanswered questions and the uncertainties remain ...

If ...
If only ....
Only if ...
What if ...